Two Voices
Your enthusiasm is not what you can squeeze out by your will-power. While sometimes it is, but mostly the other way around. Your enthusiasm is that which can give you an incredible will-power, not vice versa. And if so, where does your enthusiasm come from? Sometimes it comes from your ego (the desire to get the external approvals) and sometimes from your recognition of what is truly called for. The latter is what we signify literally as "Calling." It is not that you call for yourself but that someone else calls for you in your mind or consciousness. That is why; it is also called "inner voice." And the true inner voice is different from what we call inner chatting.
Actually one of the most difficult things is how we can recognize the true inner voice in our contemplation and differentiate from the false one. Because of our consciousness, unlike other animals, we tend to think too much when we do something. Like our decision, when we decide to make any action, we tend to think too much or we conduct a number of simulations or mental rehearsals before our action is really executed. It is of course quite useful to avoid unnecessary risks and dangers in the future by conducing such mental simulations or rehearsals. It is the power that we humans could acquire as the result of having our consciousness. It is so useful, but we also have to notice that this is also your inner voice; it is that you are talking to you; you are suggesting you. Such simulation or mental rehearsal is not what is called true inner voice; it is not that someone else or someone higher than you is talking to you. And yet, we tend to confuse between these two voices – your inner voice and the true voice in you.
In our contemplation we first have to calm down and focus on the inside. But the tendency is that contrary to our intention (or because of our intention indeed) we can not reach our true contemplative state and inner stillness. Rather, we tend to start thinking a lot of things, which is what we call inner chatting, inner dialogue or just simply "thinking." Once such inner chatting has occupied your mind, you are far from the contemplative state. It seems at a glance you sit quietly, but the truth is that noisy discussions have been taking place in your mind. In your mind or consciousness you are talking to you; you are arguing with you; you are encouraging you; and you pity you, etc.
The small room of your mind or consciousness is so crowded because of so many kinds of you. The worst case is that there is even the warfare among a lot of you in your mind or consciousness. In short, you are fighting one another in you. And the tragedy is that you kill yourself. This is the reason why committing suicide is the unique phenomenon that we humans have. As we commonly say, the toughest enemy is yourself when you have to overcome some crucial challenges in your life. That is very true. The more the challenge is crucial, the more we tend to conduct our inner chatting and dialogue, and the less we tend to listen carefully to the true inner voice. The pseudo-inner voice disturbs you. That voice is actually your own voice.
If that is the case, then how can we listen to the true inner voice without being distracted by the pseudo-inner voice? Moreover, how can we tame such false inner voice and let the true inner voice control us?
As commonly said, one of the solutions is to master the technique of letting go. As we have seen, the dilemma is that the false inner voice is your own voice at the same time. You are talking to you. Thus, if you attempt to force the false inner voice to stop talking to you, then your attempt itself has become your, another false inner voice. In your consciousness you are talking to the false inner voice (that is you), "Stop talking to me," then such saying itself is again another false inner voice (that is also you) that disturbs you. Thus, the vicious circle of the false inner voices has continued endlessly. The more you try to stop it, the more you have to produce the false inner voice that will be increased more and more. You are replicating your voices and getting farther from the true voices.
One of the solutions, therefore, is that you have to master how to let go of your voices. But it is very difficult. You may be caught by the trap that "letting go" becomes another false voice. You are just bothered by your inner chatting – saying continuously "letting go, letting go and letting go." But then, if so, how can we master the technique of letting go?
The important tip is that you devote yourself to some specific activity in which you forget about yourself totally. The bottom line is that for letting go, you have to forget yourself, and to forget yourself you have to put yourself on some specific activities where you need your total concentration. In other words, if you place yourself in the condition where your total concentration is required, then you cannot help but forgetting yourself. Only if you can forget yourself, in such circumstance you can shut down the false inner voice that is your voice. The key is how to forget yourself; if you can forget yourself, then you can master the technique of letting go. As Dogen said, "To know the Way is to know the Self. To know the Self is to forget the Self."
If so, what kind of activity can be suitable for shutting down the false inner voice and listening to the true inner voice? Although we need the further discussion for the latter – how to listen to the true voice, as for the former – shutting down the false inner voice, in my opinion actually any kinds of activities (as long as they require your total concentration) can be suitable.
As the Buddhist traditions have suggested, such simple activities as counting, breathing and walking can be the effective activities. However, these activities may be quite difficult since we are unlikely achieve and maintain our total concentration when we are just counting, breathing and walking. If we conduct our mental, inner chatting during our counting, breathing and walking, we can never shut down the false inner voice and never reach the true inner voice. Contrary to our intuitive image, these simple activities might be considered as the difficult ones. These are rather the activities that train us to achieve our total concentration. This means, only if we can totally concentrate on just counting, breathing and walking, we can say that our level of shutting down the false inner voice is so high. These are the indicators to see your power of concentration.
As we have experienced, however, the good thing is that though still partial, such things as counting, breathing and walking can be the effective tools to shut down our inner dialogues. When we are worried about a lot of problems (that are the false inner voices), just counting, breathing and walking without thinking of these problems can be the best ways to restore our energy so as to face the problems more calmly and positively.
The diverse kinds of sports and artistic activities such as writing, drawing, painting, playing the instruments, dancing, and singing are also suitable. And in my opinion, not only for shutting down the false inner voices, but also for listening to the true inner voices, particularly the artistic activities can be the most effective approaches. Why? It is because the artistic activities are always accompanied by the certain outcomes. These are always accompanied by what is created. These are the activities that always create something. Then, if we can really forget ourselves during our artistic activities and can still create something beyond our ego, intention and calculation, what is created must manifest certain accessibility to the true inner voices. But of course, I do not think that any artistic activities can always reveal such true inner voice since we cannot totally forget ourselves during the activities.
When we "think" that we want to access to the true inner voice in our artistic activities, such "thinking" itself has become the distraction to approach the true inner voice. Ironically, the very intention to make the masterpiece that can provide us the true inner voice is one of the most serious obstacles for this very intention.
Actually one of the most difficult things is how we can recognize the true inner voice in our contemplation and differentiate from the false one. Because of our consciousness, unlike other animals, we tend to think too much when we do something. Like our decision, when we decide to make any action, we tend to think too much or we conduct a number of simulations or mental rehearsals before our action is really executed. It is of course quite useful to avoid unnecessary risks and dangers in the future by conducing such mental simulations or rehearsals. It is the power that we humans could acquire as the result of having our consciousness. It is so useful, but we also have to notice that this is also your inner voice; it is that you are talking to you; you are suggesting you. Such simulation or mental rehearsal is not what is called true inner voice; it is not that someone else or someone higher than you is talking to you. And yet, we tend to confuse between these two voices – your inner voice and the true voice in you.
In our contemplation we first have to calm down and focus on the inside. But the tendency is that contrary to our intention (or because of our intention indeed) we can not reach our true contemplative state and inner stillness. Rather, we tend to start thinking a lot of things, which is what we call inner chatting, inner dialogue or just simply "thinking." Once such inner chatting has occupied your mind, you are far from the contemplative state. It seems at a glance you sit quietly, but the truth is that noisy discussions have been taking place in your mind. In your mind or consciousness you are talking to you; you are arguing with you; you are encouraging you; and you pity you, etc.
The small room of your mind or consciousness is so crowded because of so many kinds of you. The worst case is that there is even the warfare among a lot of you in your mind or consciousness. In short, you are fighting one another in you. And the tragedy is that you kill yourself. This is the reason why committing suicide is the unique phenomenon that we humans have. As we commonly say, the toughest enemy is yourself when you have to overcome some crucial challenges in your life. That is very true. The more the challenge is crucial, the more we tend to conduct our inner chatting and dialogue, and the less we tend to listen carefully to the true inner voice. The pseudo-inner voice disturbs you. That voice is actually your own voice.
If that is the case, then how can we listen to the true inner voice without being distracted by the pseudo-inner voice? Moreover, how can we tame such false inner voice and let the true inner voice control us?
As commonly said, one of the solutions is to master the technique of letting go. As we have seen, the dilemma is that the false inner voice is your own voice at the same time. You are talking to you. Thus, if you attempt to force the false inner voice to stop talking to you, then your attempt itself has become your, another false inner voice. In your consciousness you are talking to the false inner voice (that is you), "Stop talking to me," then such saying itself is again another false inner voice (that is also you) that disturbs you. Thus, the vicious circle of the false inner voices has continued endlessly. The more you try to stop it, the more you have to produce the false inner voice that will be increased more and more. You are replicating your voices and getting farther from the true voices.
One of the solutions, therefore, is that you have to master how to let go of your voices. But it is very difficult. You may be caught by the trap that "letting go" becomes another false voice. You are just bothered by your inner chatting – saying continuously "letting go, letting go and letting go." But then, if so, how can we master the technique of letting go?
The important tip is that you devote yourself to some specific activity in which you forget about yourself totally. The bottom line is that for letting go, you have to forget yourself, and to forget yourself you have to put yourself on some specific activities where you need your total concentration. In other words, if you place yourself in the condition where your total concentration is required, then you cannot help but forgetting yourself. Only if you can forget yourself, in such circumstance you can shut down the false inner voice that is your voice. The key is how to forget yourself; if you can forget yourself, then you can master the technique of letting go. As Dogen said, "To know the Way is to know the Self. To know the Self is to forget the Self."
If so, what kind of activity can be suitable for shutting down the false inner voice and listening to the true inner voice? Although we need the further discussion for the latter – how to listen to the true voice, as for the former – shutting down the false inner voice, in my opinion actually any kinds of activities (as long as they require your total concentration) can be suitable.
As the Buddhist traditions have suggested, such simple activities as counting, breathing and walking can be the effective activities. However, these activities may be quite difficult since we are unlikely achieve and maintain our total concentration when we are just counting, breathing and walking. If we conduct our mental, inner chatting during our counting, breathing and walking, we can never shut down the false inner voice and never reach the true inner voice. Contrary to our intuitive image, these simple activities might be considered as the difficult ones. These are rather the activities that train us to achieve our total concentration. This means, only if we can totally concentrate on just counting, breathing and walking, we can say that our level of shutting down the false inner voice is so high. These are the indicators to see your power of concentration.
As we have experienced, however, the good thing is that though still partial, such things as counting, breathing and walking can be the effective tools to shut down our inner dialogues. When we are worried about a lot of problems (that are the false inner voices), just counting, breathing and walking without thinking of these problems can be the best ways to restore our energy so as to face the problems more calmly and positively.
The diverse kinds of sports and artistic activities such as writing, drawing, painting, playing the instruments, dancing, and singing are also suitable. And in my opinion, not only for shutting down the false inner voices, but also for listening to the true inner voices, particularly the artistic activities can be the most effective approaches. Why? It is because the artistic activities are always accompanied by the certain outcomes. These are always accompanied by what is created. These are the activities that always create something. Then, if we can really forget ourselves during our artistic activities and can still create something beyond our ego, intention and calculation, what is created must manifest certain accessibility to the true inner voices. But of course, I do not think that any artistic activities can always reveal such true inner voice since we cannot totally forget ourselves during the activities.
When we "think" that we want to access to the true inner voice in our artistic activities, such "thinking" itself has become the distraction to approach the true inner voice. Ironically, the very intention to make the masterpiece that can provide us the true inner voice is one of the most serious obstacles for this very intention.
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