Undeserved Grace

For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. For scarcely for a righteous man will one die: yet peradventure for a good man some would even dare to die. But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

Romans 5:6-8

We all have so-called “Doubting Thomas” within us, which makes us “spiritually blind”. Only when we can open our own spiritual eye; only when our blindness is healed by Jesus Christ, we can be aware of the dimension that such eye can see. And if so, what is the meaning of:

"Jesus heals our (spiritual) blindness?"

While it has various implications theologically and philosophically, here I would like to focus on Jesus' "ultimate act" of healing per se, which is, as Paul said above, "Christ died for the ungodly."

To understand the true meaning of the Resurrection of Jesus Christ and have faith on this, we also have to understand the true meaning of His death on the Cross.

Why, how, and what for He died on earth?

Is it just one of any possible death that any mortal humans would experience at the end of life or even by any possible causes; or, even for the sake that "for a good man some would even dare to die" heroically? If that is the case, can we say "that must be very sad, tragic, but could be heroic"? Or, can we say "well, it is sad, but not relevant to our business"?

For the Resurrection of Jesus Christ, we (our inner Doubting Thomas or spiritual blindness) usually seek the “objective evidence” to believe it. For, we are scared of our blind faith and its danger.

For the Death of Jesus Christ, on the other hand, even such “objective evidence” is not enough. Or rather, for both death and resurrection, such direction of “seeking objective evidence” is quite opposite. As Kierkegaard claimed, "truth is subjectivity". It is not that "it works for me, thus it is true", but that "I work for it, thus it is true".

Perhaps a lot of the followers of Jesus Christ at that time felt extremely sad and devastated by the tragic death of their Master on the cross. If, however, such sadness (even at its extreme level) was still in the dimension of "spiritual blindness", then they were yet unaware of the true meaning of His Death of the Cross; hence, that of His Resurrection as well.

Unconsciously they felt like "for a good man some would even dare to die". They (and even we) mostly felt sorry about his death with such sentiment that an innocent person died for the sake of justice, etc. For, so-called heroic death for justice is unfortunately quite "common" in our human histories. There have been a lot of good and courageous heroes and heroines who died for the sake of justice and goodness with their "good intentions." Indeed, Christ’s death has this part as we commonly believe so.

But this is still part of it.

What should we know for us to understand the true meaning of His Death on the Cross? The key is "truth is subjectivity".

When and if we feel His Death is truly for us, this means that when we realize the true meaning of both "For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly" and "God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us", we would experience a sort of "Spiritual Leap". Some call it "Religious Experience". This is to existentially experience the reconnection between our Sinful Nature and the Undeserved Grace of God (His beloved Son, Jesus Christ).

When Peter thought of Jesus as his respectful Master and he himself was one of the students, Peter was still far from such "Leap."

Perhaps due to his own uneducated and shortcomings, he must be humble (he thought he understood his weakness and could be humble). In this mindset, however, he still had a subtle spiritual pride, just as anyone who was at the position of Peter would do. Still in this mindset or consciousness level, due to the death of Jesus Christ on the cross, he would be devastated by the extreme sadness caused by the loss of his Master alone.

But it is only at this level.

At this level, Peter cannot understand the true meaning of His Death on the Cross; hence, that of His Resurrection. The truth is, however, as you can see the Bible, Peter was one of the disciples who understood both quite well by the fact that he was one of the leading figures during the early Christian days. Why?

Because he was not only devastated by the death of his Master at such selfish level, but truly and existentially by the sinfulness of his own nature. This means that by the truth that Jesus was not only killed by those high priests and Roman colonizers, but killed by the very weakness and sinfulness of Peter himself.

This is Peter's realization that Peter killed Jesus Christ.

Jesus had to die for Peter and for all our inner "Peterness."

He was indeed devastated by this very fact bitterly and painfully. Indeed, this is up to the extent that Peter's action at the moment was almost the same as Judas Iscariot’s.

Jesus said unto him, Verily I say unto thee, That this night, before the cock crow, thou shalt deny me thrice. Peter said unto him, Though I should die with thee, yet will I not deny thee. Likewise also said all the disciples.

Matthew 26: 34 – 35

Now Peter sat without in the palace: and a damsel came unto him, saying, Thou also wast with Jesus of Galilee. But he denied before them all, saying, I know not what thou sayest. And when he was gone out into the porch, another maid saw him, and said unto them that were there, This fellow was also with Jesus of Nazareth.  And again he denied with an oath, I do not know the man. And after a while came unto him they that stood by, and said to Peter, Surely thou also art one of them; for thy speech bewrayeth thee. Then began he to curse and to swear, saying, I know not the man. And immediately the cock crew. 

And Peter remembered the word of Jesus, which said unto him, Before the cock crow, thou shalt deny me thrice. And he went out, and wept bitterly.

Matthew 26:69 – 75

The Denial of Saint Peter by Caravaggio

Here is the portion that Judas Iscariot would start thinking of his betrayal. It is said that one of the disciples who reprimanded the woman with a box of precious ointment was Judas. And his indignation must be based on his "good intention for the poor", just as Peter believed his "good intention to follow Jesus by all means".

Now when Jesus was in Bethany, in the house of Simon the leper, There came unto him a woman having an alabaster box of very precious ointment, and poured it on his head, as he sat at meat. But when his disciples saw it, they had indignation, saying, To what purpose is this waste?

For this ointment might have been sold for much, and given to the poor.

When Jesus understood it, he said unto them, Why trouble ye the woman? for she hath wrought a good work upon me.  For ye have the poor always with you; but me ye have not always.

For in that she hath poured this ointment on my body, she did it for my burial.Verily I say unto you, Wheresoever this gospel shall be preached in the whole world, there shall also this, that this woman hath done, be told for a memorial of her.

Then one of the twelve, called Judas Iscariot, went unto the chief priests, And said unto them, What will ye give me, and I will deliver him unto you? And they covenanted with him for thirty pieces of silver.16 And from that time he sought opportunity to betray him.

Matthew 26: 6 - 16

Christ in the House of Simon by Dieric Bouts

Such "good intention" and "by all means" are always weak and selfish, if not self-absorption. Not to the extent of Judas, though, Peter himself had to deny his Master because of his weakness and sinful nature, whereas actually Jesus himself knew such weakness, selfishness, and sinfulness of not only Peter but of everyone (For, that is the very reason He decided to follow the will of His Father to crucify Himself).

Ironically and paradoxically, however, because of this extreme pain and regret, finally Peter realized the "subjective truth" that "Jesus died for me, moreover, I, Peter killed Him". This is why, Paul was saying as follows:

But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

Romans 5:6-8